It’s hard when your body starts to slow down and your desires become bigger than your capabilities. This can be especially frustrating when these are things you used to do without issue, like walking through the grocery store parking lot, getting around your house, and even using the restroom. However, struggling with these issues doesn’t mean you have to lose your independence; there are several things you can do to exercise your autonomy.
- Expend your energy on the things you actually care about.
When your body stops working the way it used to, it can be tempting to try to ignore it. You don’t want to get that disability placard for your car because you’ve never needed it before, and if you just try really hard you can still make it from the back of the parking lot. But is that really what you want to spend your energy on? If you have a limited amount of energy at your disposal, would you rather use it to attend your granddaughter’s recital or to walk long distances in a parking lot? Although it may be frustrating to accept that things are changing, it can be more frustrating to realize you’ve wasted all your energy on something that isn’t important to you. Using a disability placard or mobility aid can help you preserve your energy for the things that matter.
- Don’t be afraid to use helpful tools.
There are lots of tools that can help you maintain your independence, including mobility aids. While it can be frustrating to have to use an external tool to walk, it can also open a lot of doors. You may be surprised at the extra energy you have after not having to work so hard to walk. Though it may feel like accepting defeat at first, you may soon realize that using a wheelchair, cane, walker, or rollator (Alpine) allows you to go more places than you could previously. You can also add modifications to your home, such as ramps, stair lifts, handrails, and shower chairs (Alpine). Beyond removing the physical strain on your body, mobility aids can also remove mental strain and boost your confidence. If you worry about teetering and falling over, it can be a weight off your shoulders knowing you have something to stabilize you. If you think that a mobility aid may be right for you, talk to your doctor about your experiences so they can recommend tools tailored to your needs.
- Communicate your needs and wants.
Even if you’re homebound and have the assistance of a caretaker, that doesn’t mean your days of independence are over. In situations like these, communicate things that will make your life better. This certainly includes needs, like having them drive you to a doctor’s appointment or cook dinner, but it can also include wants. Are you craving something specific for dinner? Are you in the mood to watch a certain movie? Could you use another blanket? Let your caregiver know! They’re there to help you, and it’s likely that they want to provide the best care possible. Maybe this is helping you from your bed to your wheelchair, or maybe it’s closing the blinds because the sunlight is in your eyes. Don’t worry about being an inconvenience; if it will improve your quality of care, no matter how small of an issue you feel it is, speak up.
- Maintain your relationships.
Independence doesn’t mean isolation. Spending time with your loved ones can be a great way to not only exercise your independence but remind yourself why you value that independence. There are numerous ways you can maintain connections, like meeting with a friend in a coffee shop or going to your local senior center. Even if your caregiver drives you to these places, choosing where to go, who to meet, and altogether shaking up your daily routine, can remind you of your autonomy. If conversations have gotten harder due to issues like hearing loss, you and your loved ones could watch a movie with subtitles or do a craft together (like painting, knitting, or scrapbooking). Hearing loss can certainly change the way you interact with people, but it doesn’t have to stop interactions altogether.
- Maintaining independence while struggling with incontinence:
If you struggle with incontinence, one of the first things you should do is talk to your doctor. They may be able to [whatever it is they do]. You should also figure out what supplies work for you. There are several different types of incontinence supplies to choose from, and you may feel more comfortable in one type than in the other [“Diapers” vs briefs/pullups? I know there are different types but I don’t know their names]. There are also underpads for beds and chairs, some disposable and some reusable. While it can be frustrating to need them, it can also be a huge relief knowing you can protect your furniture and sit where you’d like, free of worry. Having these supplies can relieve stress; when you’re not constantly worried about making it to the restroom or timing your activities just right, you can enjoy living life again. There’s no shame in using products; you don’t have to live life shackled to the toilet.
It’s important to understand that none of the issues listed here are any personal failing. Around 27% of U.S. adults (up to 1 in 4) have some sort of disability. More than 25 million adults in the United States experience incontinence (that’s roughly 9.6% of the adult population). All of these things, while often unpleasant, are a normal part of life. Experiencing them doesn’t make you gross, broken, or useless. Additionally, being affected by these things doesn’t make you any less valuable; you’re still the same person you were before dealing with these issues. It just
For more about living with a disability, incontinence issues, and growing older in general, check out these articles:
https://www.helpguide.org/articles/healthy-living/living-well-with-a-disability.htm
https://www.caregiver.org/resource/living-incontinence-social-and-emotional-challenges/
https://adata.org/factsheet/aging-and-ada
https://www.helpguide.org/articles/alzheimers-dementia-aging/staying-healthy-as-you-age.htm
